I Made a Mistake

Referring to the four-word title of this post, I believe this is one of the most important phrases a parent can learn to utter. Too often as parents, we seem to think we should be an infallible example to our children, a model of perfection, someone they can look up to in any situation.

But we're not perfect. Not even close. And if our children don't find that out sooner, they're just going to find it out later. Why not save ourselves the bother of pretense? If I yell at one of my kids unjustly, I try to apologize. If I discipline Gabe for something and then find out I was in the wrong (which is liable to happen occasionally once Isaac is a little older and more mobile), I should apologize for that and try to make amends.

Last night, we went out as a family to hit the after-Valentine's-Day sale at Target. Nick and I each bought a little something for each other. We had talked in advance and decided that it would be fair to let Gabe get something special, too. The entire car ride there, he kept reminding us that we had to go "look at the toys."

So on our way to the back where they keep the seasonal stuff, we stopped to look at the toys and Gabe found a car for $2.50. He played with it through the rest of the store until he got bored with it and put it in the cart.

While browsing the Valentine's stuff, I found a Sesame Street DVD titles, "Elmo Loves You," about love, friendship, etc. I thought Gabe would like it, but I couldn't find a price anywhere on the packaging and the DVD was obviously misplaced. So I put it in the cart and decided to ask at the register when we were done shopping.

Later, Gabe noticed the DVD. I told him he could get the DVD or the car. He put the car back with the toys.

At the register, we discovered the DVD was $9.99. In restrospect, we should have just bought it. But Nick and I had both been expecting it to cost less, being that the V-Day stuff was supposed to be marked down 40-60%. But it turned out the DVD wasn't marked down, having been misplaced. We decided to leave it behind.

We went to IHOP for a little dessert, then packed the boys back up and drove home. I knew Gabe might remember about the DVD, but was hoping (silly me) that I could distract him and he would forget about it. I gave him the Valentines to play with (Lenticular Spider-Man Valentines-- he thought they were pretty cool) and hoped for the best.

As soon as we pulled into the car port, however, Gabe said, "Do we get to watch the DVD now?" Uh-oh. "Oh, Gabe," I said. "I'm sorry, but we left them at the store."

Enter, the water works. And I have always done my best to not just give in to my kid because he's crying. But he really had a legitimate reason for being upset this time as, in his mind, we had as good as promised him that DVD. And we really had. What had we been thinking coming home with nothing for our son when we had decided originally that we would? So we quickly took the boys inside, and Nick and I explained to Gabe (still bawling) that we had made a mistake not getting the DVD and that Daddy was going to go right back to the store and buy it. Which he did. I helped Gabe get ready for bed and we set up his sleeping bag in the living room. When Daddy got home with the DVD, Gabe was so happy and I knew we had done the right thing. We got him settled into his sleeping bag and put on the DVD for a special nighttime show; he fell asleep halfway through (it was pretty late by this time).

We made a mistake. We made amends. All is once again well in the Luehr household. It feels good to admit that you've been wrong once in a while.